


he's got a boyfriend anyway

by Jules1398



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Friends With Benefits, Infidelity, Journalism, M/M, Pining, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-22 09:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14305974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules1398/pseuds/Jules1398
Summary: After leaving Berlin to live with his new boyfriend, Matteo suddenly reappears in Jonas' life with one simple request: that he be his best man. Jonas has no idea why he suddenly feels sick to his stomach.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy I'm planning on updating this on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and it's nearly finished, so I should be able to stick to that <3  
> I'm so happy to get a longer fic out again  
> [come say hi!](http://jonasmatteo.tumblr.com/)

It was seven at night and Jonas was sitting down and eating dinner with his roommate, Mia. They were having chicken parmesan, which would have made Jonas sad a few years ago, when the thought of Italian food made him sick with the feeling of missing his best friend, who had dropped out of university to move to Italy with his new boyfriend.

But years had passed and Jonas had learned to cope with it. He had somewhat kept in contact with Matteo, calling him a few times a year and sending him texts on his birthday, but for the most part Jonas had learned how to live without him. While Matteo was gone he had graduated from university, gotten his dream job, and moved into his own apartment. Jonas didn’t need him and, at this point, he barely missed him. Their lives had taken them in different directions and he was okay with that.

Jonas still had plenty of important people in his life. He had Hanna, who was a nurse at the local hospital and was in a happy relationship with one of the doctors there, Amira.

He had Sam and Kiki, who were friends of his. Kiki was an art teacher for children and Sam was in law school. They were best friends that lived in a house together. They were also deeply in love, but neither of them really knew it yet. Jonas and Hanna had a running bet as to who would ask who out first. His money was on Sam because of her fierce confidence, but Hanna seemed to think that Kiki would be the one to make things happen in the end.

And then there was Mia Amalie Winter, with her flawless eyebrows, fluffy blond hair, and soft skin. She and Jonas had dated for a while while they were in university before they realized that friendship was the best option and, to be honest, Jonas never really thought a friends with benefits situation could actually work until he met her. They were roommates and coworkers who occasionally had some fun together and  it was an absolutely fantastic situation. They were too busy with their fast-paced journalism careers to find serious relationships, so they just hooked up, whether it be with strangers or with each other.

Since Matteo hadn’t been a big part of his life throughout the past few years, Mia had become his new best friend. They depended on one another for a lot, including advice. It seemed like Jonas could be more open with Mia than he ever had been with Matteo.

They ate dinner together every Friday night, trading off cooking duty, and discussed the highs and lows of their weeks. This week, Mia had cooked, so Jonas just got to sit back and enjoy.

“So, how was your tinder date with that girl?” he asked her.

Mia shrugged. “It was just a hookup. She seems nice enough and we had a lot of fun, so I might hit her up again if she’s up for it. How about you? Anyone on the horizon.”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid that the well is as dry as ever.”

“Sex isn’t everything,” she replied.

“No, it’s not,” Jonas agreed. “But it’s pretty fucking nice.”

Mia laughed. “I guess I have to give you that. You know, I’ve got that party tonight with Kiki and Sam, but if you’re up for it, we can fool around after I get back.”

“If I’m awake,” Jonas shrugged. “This week fucking kicked my ass. Interviewing complete idiots on same-sex relationships is the worst.”

“I’d imagine so,” she replied. “I still understand how young people can be stuck in the past when they weren’t even alive then.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but Mia’s phone buzzed with a text. She read it and looked up to him apologetically. “Shit, they’re here already. I have to go, but I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

Jonas smiled. “Have fun, Mia,” he said, waving at her as she grabbed her jacket and rushed out of the door.

He took his time finishing his dinner, as he had nowhere else to be. After he was done, he put away the leftover food for the rest of the week and cleaned up all of the dishes.

When he had finished the last of his duties for the night, he went to the living room and sat back in the counter with a blanket over him and a cup of tea at his side. He went to reach for the remote, when the doorbell rang.

Jonas groaned. He had just gotten comfortable and now he had to get up to answer the door. He had never known Mia as the type to lock her keys inside the apartment, but he supposed that there was a first time for everything.

After all, who else could it be? Kiki and Sam were out at the club with Mia. Amira had just gotten off a 36 hour shift, so she was surely asleep and Hanna was working through the night. Unless it was a late night solicitor, it  _ had _ to be Mia.

It wasn’t Mia. When Jonas opened the door, he was faced with familiar blue eyes. The eyes that had haunted many sleepless nights. Matteo was here.

“Jonas,” the other man grinned. “It’s so good to see you.”

He blinked for a moment, unsure as to what to make of the situation. “What are you doing here?” he  eventually blurted out. “Like, I’m happy to see you and all, but I’m a bit confused.”

“I’m going to be in Berlin for the next three months,” Matteo informed him. “I was hoping that I could come in and chat with you.”

“Of course,” Jonas replied, moving over to let him in.

“This is a nice apartment,” Matteo complimented, looking around the living room before taking a seat on the couch. “Do you live alone?”

“God, no. It would be a mess if I was all alone here,” he replied, sitting on the other end of the couch and facing his friend. “I live with Mia.”

“Oh, I’m kind of surprised that you two are still together,” Matteo said.

Jonas chuckled. “We aren’t together anymore. Just friends.”

The other man nodded slowly. “You two always did have a lot in common. I didn’t think the relationship would last, but I always kind of knew you two would still be in each other’s lives.”

“Yep,” Jonas muttered. The conversation was a bit tense and awkward, but he supposed that it had been a long time since they had last spoken. “So, why are you here?” he asked, getting the conversation back on track. “Did the excitement of Florence finally wear off?”

“No, it’s not that,” he chuckled. “I realized that I missed all of you and I wanted to reconnect during these last three months. Besides, Riccardo’s company has a branch here in Berlin, so we could get them to pay for it.”

Jonas tried not to frown at the mention of Riccardo. He had never really liked the  guy, but he had always made Matteo happy, so he knew that he was going to have to deal with it.

“Wait,” Jonas said, furrowing his eyebrows. “What’s happening in three months?”

Matteo smiled and patted Jonas’ knee. “Okay, so you can’t tell anybody this, at least not yet, but me and Riccardo are getting married. Here, in Berlin.”

His stomach convulsed. He knew that he should be happy for Matteo, like any good friend would, but the news made him feel ill. Matteo was still fairly young, and he wasn’t sure that Riccardo was the best person for him, seeing as their relationship had caused him to abandon all his career goals and move to a foreign country.

Still, Jonas managed to muster up a smile for the sake of his friend. “Matteo, that’s wonderful news!”

“I came to you first for a reason,” he informed him.

“Yeah?” Jonas’ smile began to become a bit more genuine, since  _ he  _ was the first person that Matteo had come to see.

Matteo bit his lip and looked Jonas in the eye. His heart lurched when his vision was met with that sea of blue. God, he had missed having his friend in his life.

“I want you to be my best man,” Matteo told him.

Jonas heart heart sunk a little in his chest, but he maintained a smile. “I’m definitely willing, but don’t you have any friends from Italy that you’re closer with now?”

The other man shook his head. “They only people we hang out with there are Riccardo’s friends, and I fucking hate every last one of them.”

“I’ll do it,” Jonas promised.

“Thank you so much,” Matteo replied, reaching forward to wrap Jonas in a hug. His arms made feel Jonas at home.

They chatted for a little while longer, talking about this in that, nothing that really mattered much, until Riccardo called Matteo and he had to leave. Jonas received a text not long after he left about a group meetup for Sunday brunch and it seemed like everyone was on board, so he knew that he would see his friend again soon.

* * *

Jonas was laying in bed, wide awake, when Mia finally came home. He figured that she would go straight to her room and sleep, as it was pretty late.

Instead he heard his door creak open slowly and there she was. She had changed into a t-shirt and gym shorts, probably because she was going to sleep soon.

He clenched his eyes shut and pretended to be asleep. He didn’t really want to have sex tonight. Still, he felt the creaking of the bed beside him as she climbed in.

“Jonas, I know you’re awake,” Mia whispered, softly running her fingertips down the side of his face.

Opening his eyes, he turned toward her. “I’m not really up for sex tonight,” he admitted.

“I know,” she said with a smile, stroking the side of his face. “But I figured that you would want some company tonight. I got Matteo’s text too.”

“He stopped by while you were gone,” Jonas informed her.

“And how was that?” she asked, brushing the edge of his lip with her thumb. Usually, it would have been a sexual gesture, but for Jonas, it was comforting. Mia was assuring him that she was here and that she was listening.

“You can’t tell anyone this and you need to act surprised on Sunday,” he started, “but Matteo came back because he wanted to reconnect with everyone before he gets married to Riccardo.”

Her hand stilled for a moment. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“What are you sorry for? My friend is getting married,” he protested.

She shook her head. “I know that you’re unhappy with this. You don’t have to pretend with me.”

“He deserves happiness and love,” Jonas sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t understand why I’m feeling this way. Maybe I need to start trying to start searching for a relationship again. Maybe, deep down, I wish that I was getting married and starting to become a real adult.”

“You  _ are _ a real adult,” she protested. “Besides, Jonas, you can’t help how you feel about it. I know you. You’re going to attend that wedding with a smile on your face because Matteo was your best friend for years and you want to support him.”

“Of course I’ll support him,” he confirmed. “But here’s the issue: Matteo wants be to be his best man and I’ll gladly do it, I just know that it’s going to suck.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Well, he must have had a reason for doing  _ that _ then. I guess we’ll see what comes of  it.”

“What do you mean?” Jonas wondered aloud. “Would I not be a good best man?”

“You’d be an amazing best man. It’s just that I’m not sure you should be  _ Matteo’s  _ best man,” Mia clarified.

He gave her a strange look. “Mia, what?”

She ran her fingers through his hair. “Don’t worry about it. You need to try to get some sleep, alright?”

Jonas bit his lip. “Can you stay?” he asked.

Mia smiled softly. “Of course. I’m here for you, Jonas.”

She snuggled up closer to him and they fell asleep in each other’s arms. For anyone else, it would be romantic, but for Jonas and Mia, it was just another part of their friendship. Matteo left Jonas’ thoughts for a brief moment, just long enough for him to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [come say hi!](http://jonasmatteo.tumblr.com/)

Saturday was a nothing day. Jonas spent the day sleeping and eating. At night, he went to the club to try to hook up with someone, maybe a guy this time, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He returned home alone and made out with Mia for a little bit instead.

And then they were sleeping and, when he woke up, it was already Sunday. He was going to have to see Matteo again, and he was unsure as to whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

He raided his closet for fifteen minutes, unable to decide what to wear to brunch. Was this a fancy deal? He knew that Matteo’s fiancé was pretty fucking rich, so maybe he should dress on the nicer side.

Eventually, Mia walked in to catch him looking frantically between two button down shirts and she burst into laughter. She looked nice in her black jeans and a forest green sweater shirt. But, then again, Mia always looked good.

“I think you’re overthinking this,” she told him. “It’s Matteo. He’s going to be happy no matter what you wear to brunch.”

“I don’t want rich bitch Riccardo to hate me,” Jonas said, throwing both shirts onto his bed and grabbing two more from his closet.

“You don’t actually care about what he thinks, so don’t even try to bullshit me,” she asserted. “Besides, I think being on time is more important that how you dress.”

He threw the shirts down to the ground and looked at her pleadingly. “Please, can you just fucking help me?”

She tapped her chin pensively for a few moments before speaking. “Wear that plain black t-shirt. The one that shows off your abs. Dark wash jeans. Finish it off with your brown jacket, but don’t zip it because, like I said before, abs.”

“Thanks,” he said with a nod, pulling those items out of his dresser and closet and quickly changing.

When he was changed, he met Mia by the front door and followed her outside, toward her motorcycle. He climbed on behind her and put his arms around her waist as she took off.

Jonas had a car, but sometimes he preferred to ride with Mia. The wind on his face as the sped through the streets of Berlin was exhilarating. He had considered getting his own bike, but he knew that if his mother ever caught him riding one of those “death traps” then he would be banned from Hanukkah gifts for at least the next three years.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Jonas was to pleased to see that it was just a normal cafe instead of some high end restaurant. They hopped off the bike and walked inside, where Hanna and Amira were already waiting at a table.

Hanna got up and hugged both of them when they arrived, lingering a little longer on Jonas. Christ, he wasn’t going to break just because his friend was back from Florence for a few months. Or because of the wedding, but they didn’t know about that quite yet.

He sat down in the seat next to Hanna while Mia tok the one on the other side of Amira. Kiki and Sam arrived but a few minutes later, leaving only two seats left at the table: the seat next to Jonas and the one next to that.

When Matteo and Riccardo walked through the door, it seemed as if the entire world was moving in slow motion. Matteo wore a big smile on his face upon seeing to his friends, but Riccardo’s lacked emotion, though he was wearing sunglasses so it was difficult to tell.

If Jonas denied that Riccardo was attractive, he would be lying. The man was built, with big biceps and hard abs. He had black hair and tanned skin. And then there were his eyes, the color of emeralds straight out of the mine. He was fucking hot and he was rich. No wonder Matteo had fallen for him.

Matteo sat in the seat right next to Jonas, giving him a quick hug. Riccardo sat in the seat next to him and flipped his sunglasses up onto the top of his head before staring uninterestedly at a menu.

They greeted everyone and the group ordered their food, making smalltalk until it arrived. They asked about Florence and, in turn, Matteo asked them about Berlin.

Then their food arrived and, before they could begin to dig in, Matteo cleared his throat to capture all of their attention.

“I need to make an announcement,” he said. “In just three months, Riccardo and I will be getting married. Right here, in Berlin.”

The girls shrieked in excitement and congratulated the happy couple, that is, all of them except for Hanna, who was giving Jonas a sad look. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered harshly.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” she protested, and he let it go, even though he didn’t quite believe her.

“And, Jonas here is going to be my best man,” Matteo continued. “Though, I’m sure the rest of you could have predicted that.”

“I guess that means I’m going to be stuck planning your bachelor’s party,” Mia joked. “Since this idiot can barely manage to get off his ass to go to work.”

The table erupted into laughter, but Riccardo remained silent as he continued to slowly eat his salad. Jonas silently wondered how someone could completely lack any and all emotion when the topic of conversation was his own wedding.

They continued to chat for a while until Riccardo said something in Italian and Matteo excused the both of them, leaving when he was only halfway finished with his meal.

“How much do you bet that those two boys left to have even more engagement sex?” Sam joked. 

Kiki laughed far too loudly at her joke as Amira put her face in her hands, trying to hold back her own giggles.

“I bet Riccardo just lays there, emotionless as ever, while Matteo does all the work,” Jonas grumbled.

Mia snorted and Hanna laid her head on the table shaking in laugher.

“Oh my fucking god, Jonas,” Sam said wiping the tears from her eyes. “You’re so fucking funny, I swear.”

He smiled and shrugged in response, even though what he said hadn’t really been a joke. Riccardo was probably an ass who didn’t give a shit about Matteo’s pleasure, as long as he got off. God, Matteo deserved so much better, and everyone other than Jonas was absolutely blind to it.

* * *

Jonas simultaneously loved and hated his job at the newspaper. One one hand, he had always aspired to become a journalist and he got to work with Mia. On the other hand, nobody really read newspapers anymore and he rarely got to write the articles that he wanted to write. Jonas supposed that Germans just weren’t very interested in the ethical issues with the food they consumed or the products that they used.

Usually, writing days were the best days, but Jonas spent the next few days suffering more than ever. He rarely got writer’s block, but when he did, it was absolutely awful. He was supposed to clear certain misconceptions concerning same-sex relationships, but his mind just kept drifting back to Matteo. He had flipped through his notes from the interviews countless times, but nothing had struck inspiration within him.

Then, a note from an interview that he had with a teenage girl caught his eye. He had not reread that one in a while, because he didn’t think that it would do him much good. Looking at it now, he saw potential. Potential to tear her misconceptions apart.

He had asked her what she thought about same-sex relationships and her response was that they were “adorable” and “pure,” even though the girl had identified herself as heterosexual. She had said that “gay guys were so much better than straight ones” even though she was “stuck with the fuckboys and nerds.”

Jonas rubbed his hands together before finally typing into the blank document that had been sitting in front of him for the past three days. He wrote and he wrote, tearing every word she said apart.

He wrote about how people who experience same-sex attraction weren’t and cuter or more pure than het people. They had the same potential for harm and abuse as anyone else. Shitty people were shitty people regardless of sexuality. Same-sex relationships weren’t, by default, more healthy than opposite-sex relationships, which he reminded his readers, were relationships that could also contain members of the LGBT community. In addition, the problem in society that caused men to be more violent applied toward gay men as well, both toward women that they were close to and the men they were in a relationship with.

As he finished up the last line, he emailed it to his editor without even reading it. He was on a roll and couldn’t be bothered with editing.

Leaning back in his chair, Jonas grinned. Few things in his life compared to the joy of finally getting an assignment done, especially when he knew this one was good. He couldn’t wait to get another thing published. Maybe this would be the article to get him discovered so he could finally move on from this shitty newspaper.

“Did you finally finish?” Mia asked from the desk beside him. She must have been working on a difficult article, as her hair was all over the place. She had a tendency to pull at it when she was frustrated.

“Yeah,” he sighed, feeling relieved to have this finished. “What are you working on?”

“This stupid article about the cafeteria food in schools,” she groaned. “Like, I don’t see the point and I have absolutely no idea how to make it interesting.”

“Maybe look into the treatment of the animals that they obtain the meat from?” he suggested.

“You know that I’ve already done that, Jonas,” Mia replied with wild eyes.

He grimaced and turned toward his desk, not wanting to poke the beast any further. At least he was done with his work on one article. Sure, he needed to work on a new assignment now, but at least things were starting to look a little bit brighter.

* * *

After work on Thursday evening, Jonas had agreed to grab coffee with Kiki. They never were the closest, but they were still friends, and she had declared in a text the previous day that they needed to get coffee and talk for once.

When he arrived in the coffeeshop, she was already sitting at a table with a latte in front of her. She smiled and waved at him as he entered and he waved back before ordering his own drink, which was decaf coffee with only sugar.

Once the barista handed him his drink he sat down in the seat across from her. “Heya Kiki! How were the little disasters today?”

Kiki laughed. “They’re not  _ that _ bad, Jonas. I’d rather work with kids than adults any day. I don’t know how you and Mia do it, with all those interviews and such.”

He shrugged. “We’re just good talkers I guess. And we’re patient. I guess that’s key to your job too, though.”

“Very true,” she smiled.

“So, how’s Sam,” he teased.

The tips of Kiki’s cheeks went pink. “She’s doing pretty good. She’s super smart, so somehow she isn’t suffering in the mess that is law school.”

“And how are you two doing,” he asked.

Kiki furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” he said innocently. “Just wondering how it’s going in the apartment.”

“It’s going well,” she replied. “We work together really well, as friends and as roommates, so there aren’t really any issues.”

“That’s good,” he nodded.

She clapped her hands together. “But, we’re here for a reason, aren’t we.”

“Wait what?” Jonas asked. “I thought you invited me to coffee to chat.”

“To  _ talk _ , Jonas,” she clarified, as if that were any different from what he said. “I figured you needed someone to talk to about Matteo.”

“Okay. He’s back. He’s getting married. Talk over,” he said, crossing his arms. Why was everyone so worried about him and Matteo? 

“Are you sure there’s nothing more to it?” Kiki asked gently. “Because, if there is, your friends are here for you. I know that I’m a bit farther from the situation, so I might be easier to talk to than Hanna or Mia, or maybe even Amira.”

“I’m happy for him,” he gritted out. “Can we leave it at that?”

Kiki frowned, but nodded. “I guess, but don’t forget that, if you ever do need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”

They finished their drinks in near silence and went there separate ways. Jonas was frustrated. It was like all of his friends  _ wanted _ him to be upset over Matteo and, okay, maybe he was a little upset over the situation, but if they saw the problems too, why should he be the one to intervene?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it obvious I wrote this chapter during the cabin ep? haha  
> [come say hi!](http://jonasmatteo.tumblr.com/)

The very next morning, Jonas was called into his boss’ office. His boss, Dr. Linda Wolf, a stern looking blonde woman with a fierce glare, was normally very intimidating, but that day she seemed somehow worse as she looked down to Jonas in disapproval.

“Close the door and take a seat,” she ordered, gesturing to the chair across from her desk. He preferred to stand when talking to others, and she knew it. If she was making him sit, then this had to be serious.

He softly closed the door behind him and sat in the chair, willing his hands to stop shaking. “What do you need from me, ma’am?”

She slammed a few pieces of paper on the desk. “I want you to take a guess at to what this is.”

“Is it-” he started, unsure of exactly where he was going. Luckily, she didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence.

“This is the article you sent to your editor a few days ago. He has passed it onto me, because he felt like you missed the point,” she explained. “Your editor was right.”

Jonas stood up frantically. “Dr. Wolf, I-”

“Sit down,” she ordered. He obeyed immediately, knowing fully well that his job could be on the line.

“What the fuck is this?” she asked, picking up the papers and waving them in the air. “I want you to tell me what your assignment was.”

“To conduct interviews and use them to annihilate misconceptions of same-sex relationships,” he recited. “Which is what I did.”

“Jonas, the point of this article was to gain more readership from the LGBT community. You said you wanted to work more with activism, and I gave you a chance to do just that. Yet, all this article is going to do is drive people away and fuel even more hatred,” she said in an exasperated tone. “And from a straight man? This would be disastrous for the company and for you as a journalist.”

“I’m not straight,” he protested. “I’m bisexual.”

“Have you ever dated a man?” Dr. Wolf asked.

“No, but I’ve slept with them.”

“Then the readers won’t see it that way,” she reasoned. “They’ll think you’re just saying it out of defense for yourself. If you were actually a gay man, this would be different.”

Jonas frowned. He fucking hated this job, but it was the only way that he was ever going to reach his goals, so he had to deal with it.

“You have a week,” she informed him. “I better have a more positive article on my desk by next Friday, or the article is going to Mia and you can have the cafeteria article. If you can’t muster anything together for that either, I’m afraid we might have to let you go. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jonas said obediently before stepping out of her office and walking toward his desk. He wanted to cry, no, he wanted to  _ scream _ . He felt trapped, like there was no way out. No way to happiness.

* * *

On Saturday morning, Jonas drove out to Heidesee to spend the day with Hanna and Matteo in her cabin, just like old times. This time, it would be more chill than the time before. There would be no chance for Carlos to fuck everything up by being the ass he was or for Hanna to get jealous over nothing. It was just a day trip, and they were going to have fun chilling by the lake.

Matteo and Hanna had driven there together, but Jonas drove alone, since they had gone last night and he had to work until late in the evening, so he decided to stick with his weekly dinner with Mia and come up the next morning.

The drive wasn’t bad. It was only an hour away and the weather was pretty nice. Usually, morning traffic in Berlin sucked, but it was a Saturday so it wasn’t too bad. He had a habit of going a little bit over the speed limit, so it only took him about 45 minutes to get there.

He parked next to Matteo’s fancy rental car that his rich fiancé was paying for and quietly entered the cabin, as he was unsure if they would still be asleep or not. From the sounds of it, they were. There wasn’t a sound in the house, so they were probably in the bedrooms, passed out.

He tiptoed into the kitchen and opened up the fridge, pulling out the eggs, milk, cheese, and the bacon. If he was the only one awake, he might as well make himself useful by cooking breakfast for the others.

Jonas got to work on making scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon bits inside and started up the ancient coffee machine that Matteo never seemed to know how to start up.

He was almost done cooking when Matteo padded into the kitchen, yawning. His blue eyes were still half closed and tufts of his hair were sticking up in different directions. It was admittedly adorable.

“Good morning,” Jonas said with a smile, walking over and wrapping his friend in a hug. “How’d you sleep?”

Matteo shrugged. “I’m a bit hungover,” he admitted. “Hanna and I went to town on the booze last night, and I’m starting to regret it. It was fun though. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to get that trashed.”

“I’m glad you two had fun,” he replied as he walked back to the stove and turned it off, pouring the eggs onto a big plate and placing it in the center of the table.

“When did you get in?” Matteo inquired, leaning back against the counter.

“About an hour ago,” he said. 

“Good drive?”

Jonas nodded. “There wasn’t a lot of traffic, so it didn’t take long to get here. Plus, the view wasn’t so bad.”

“Jonas!” he heard Hanna squeal before barreling into him and wrapping him into a hug. Matteo winced at her loud voice. “Isn’t this fantastic? It’s just like old times!”

“It’s pretty great,” he laughed.

“How are you not hungover?” Matteo asked her as he rubbed his eyes.

“I don’t  _ get _ hungover, remember?” she replied.

Jonas nodded in confirmation. “She is that truly despicable human being that can drink herself into a coma and wake up like none of it ever happened.”

She lightly shoved him. “I can’t help that I’m lucky enough not to get hungover.”

“But we can still be jealous of it,” Matteo pointed out.

They continued to joke as they sat around the table and served themselves. Each of them took their coffee differently. Hanna took it black, because she was some sort of god. Matteo had cream and sugar, because he was the sweetest. And Jonas took just sugar, because he didn’t know where he fit, but it was probably somewhere between them, and for now, he didn’t mind it so much.

“So, how’s the wedding planning going?” Hanna asked, tearing Jonas from his thought.

Matteo shrugged. “Good, I think. Riccardo hired a planner, so she’s the one doing most of the work.”

Hanna furrowed her eyebrows. “So, don’t have much of a say in your own wedding?”

“Riccardo doesn’t seem like the type of guy to give up control of anything. He’s paying for it so he’s in charge,” Jonas reasoned.

“I don’t think-” Matteo started squirming a bit in his seat. Jonas knew that he was probably making him nervous, but he didn’t care enough to stop.

“I mean it’s a miracle you even convinced him to come to Berlin, especially since he didn’t seem too happy to be here at brunch the other day,” Jonas continued, ignoring his friend’s obvious discomfort. “You must have had to hold sex over his head for a long time.”

Matteo stared firmly at his plate and didn’t say a word.

“They came to Berlin because Riccardo actually cares about Matteo being with his friends,” Hanna snapped.

They finished their meal in an awkward silence and, instead of staying the day like they were supposed to, Matteo left right afterward, spouting some fake excuse about having to meet with the planner about placemats or something.

As soon as his car pulled out of the driveway, Hanna turned toward Jonas and crossed her arms. “You’re being a fucking asshole, which isn’t like you.”

He held his arms up into the air. “It was just a joke, Hanna. People seemed to think it was funny at brunch the other day, but it just didn’t land this time.”

“It’s not the same and you know it,” she argued. “You saw how uncomfortable what you said was making him, yet you continued to say that horseshit. Some kind of friend you are. You could at least be supportive.”

“ _ I’m _ not supportive?” Jonas pointed toward himself. “I’m the one who agreed to be his best man. I’m fully supportive.”

“Then you should stop trashing on Riccardo,” Hanna said. “He really fucking likes him, Jonas. Riccardo makes Matteo happy.”

“Does he look happy to you?” Jonas asked her. “Because he seems different to me. Something isn’t quite right.”

Hanna scoffed. “Don’t assume that his happiness depends on yours. Just because you hate Riccardo doesn’t mean that he’s unhappy.”

“I just think that Matteo could do better,” he said with a shrug. “He shouldn’t marry this dude just because he’s rich and shit.”

She rolled her eyes. “Just fucking stop, Jonas. You had your chance years ago, and you refused to take it, It’s too late now.”

His eyebrows shot up into the air. “What the hell are you even talking about?”

“He was head over heels for you, Jonas. For years. If you couldn’t see it, then maybe you need your eyes checked,” she explained. “And now I think you’re starting to realize that you might love him back just a little bit, but it’s too late. He’s moved on now and he’s getting married to someone who wasn’t afraid to sweep him off his feet.”

“Riccardo is an asshole-” Jonas began to protest.

“No, Jonas,” Hanna interrupted, shaking her head. “This time, you’re the asshole.”

She grabbed her stuff off the ground to load in his car and he followed, making sure they  had everything before they drove back in silence. 

After he dropped her off, he parked in front of his apartment building and sat in the car for a moment, leaning his head on the steering wheel. 

Hanna’s words had fully sunk in during the drive back  from Heidesee and he began to realize that they were completely true. He was fucking in love with Matteo, and it was too late. Now he knew why everyone had been tiptoeing around him, seemingly terrified that he might break if they said or did the wrong thing. God, he was so unbelievably fucked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [come say hi!](http://jonasmatteo.tumblr.com/)

As soon as he got back into his apartment, Jonas sent Matteo a text apologizing for being a dick while they were at the cabin because, sure, maybe he was a little bit jealous, but that didn’t excuse his douchey behavior.

Then, Mia walked in and, by the look of it, she instantly knew something was up. Maybe Hanna texted her and told her what happened. Maybe he was just that fucking obvious. Either way, as soon as she saw him, she wrapped in into a warm hug and stroked the back of his head.

And, suddenly, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Tears started spilling from his eyes, dripping down onto Mia’s shirt. He sobbed and shook in her arms and she just stood there, rubbing his back until he calmed down.

When he finally pulled back from her, she reached her hands up and wiped the tears from his eyes with her thumbs. “Did something happen in Heidesee?” she asked, probably fully aware that, yes, something very well did happen at the cabin that morning.

He nodded. “I fucked up” he admitted. “I kept making jokes about Matteo’s husband to be and they were just fucking rude and I made him upset.”

“Jonas, look at me,” she ordered. He focused in on her eyes. “Matteo will forgive you, okay? You’re very important to him, he’s not going to let some dumb comments ruin your entire friendship.”

“I think I’m in love with him,” he admitted. 

Mia frowned, probably feeling bad from him. “I know you are.”

“It’s too late, though,” he sighed. “I’m in love with him, but his heart belongs to someone else. It fucking sucks.”

“You’ll fall in love again, Jonas,” she assured him. “And you’ll fall out of love with Matteo. I was fucking head over heels for Alex once, but that’s in the past. I barely even think about him now, other when he posts stuff online and, when I do occasionally see him around Berlin, I feel absolutely nothing.”

“How am I supposed to just stand here and watch him to get married to somebody that I don’t even like?” Jonas asked.

“I wish I knew,” Mia replied, shaking her head. “But, no matter what, I’ll be here for you Jonas.”

He offered her a slight smile. “Thank you, Mia. For being here.”

She grinned. “Of course. That’s what friends are for.”

_ Then why did Matteo leave _ , Jonas thought to himself.  _ If he was supposedly my best friend, why did he leave for another country like it was nothing. _

* * *

Jonas had been so overly invested in his feelings that he nearly forgot about the wedding event itself. That is, until Matteo called him after work on Tuesday, asking him to come over and help him to pick stuff with the planner.

He rushed over to the hotel as soon as he received the call, only to find that Riccardo wasn’t even there. Matteo answered the door to the suite and led him to a couch where the planner was already sitting.

“Is this your fiancé?” the planner asked, which proved that they had been lying about their reason for ditching brunch a few weeks back.

“No, he’s my best man,” Matteo clarified. “I can’t pick this stuff alone and Riccardo went back to Florence for the week so I called him in for help.”

“Whatever,” the woman replied. “We need to get to work, regardless of who is present.”

Matteo gestured for her to continue. The woman tossed about ten pieces of paper on the table. They were all floral arrangements and they all looked nice, as far as Jonas could tell.

“We need to pick a good arrangement that goes well with your suits,” she explained. “So, after  your beloved sent the picture of your suits, I found a few that might be fitting.”

“They look nice,” Matteo muttered.

“I know they look nice. It’s my job to make sure they do,” the planner replied. “You need to choose one.”

“So what do you think?” Jonas asked, turning toward his friend, having no idea which one to choose.

“I’m not sure, what do you think?” Matteo replied.

“You’re the one getting married,” he pointed out.

Matteo shoved him lightly. “I brought you in as a consultant. You need to do your job!”

Jonas leaned down and looked through the papers. Personally, there was a blue arrangement that he loved. It would bring out Matteo’s eyes and he could just picture it, standing hand and hand with him and watching him out of the corner of his eye as they walked toward the altar in that sea of blue petals. Perhaps Matteo would be grinning as they walked together, maybe even tearing up a little bit.

“The green and white one is nice,” he lied. He knew he was being selfish, but if he couldn’t have that moment with Matteo, then he didn’t want Riccardo to get to have it either.

The planner wrinkled her nose. “That’s my least favorite one,” she remarked. “But I guess if that’s what you chose, then we can work with it.”

“We can choose another one if we have to,” Matteo replied, concern in his voice. “I mean, if you don’t like it that much, I’m not sure what Riccardo would think about it.”

“It’s just not as amazing with your suits as the other ones are,” the woman explained.

“Neither of us have seen what the suits look like,” he explained to her. “So we can’t really tell whether they’d fit or not.”

Jonas eyebrows shot up into the air. “You don’t know what the suit you’re wearing to your own wedding looks like.”

“Riccardo picked them,” he shrugged. “I kind of wish that he he asked for my input, but he’s got the money and a lot more style than I do.”

“You should still have a say in things like that,” Jonas protested.

“It doesn’t really matter, Jonas,” Matteo argued. “I’m sure Riccardo chose nice ones, okay?”

“He should have-” he started.

“Just drop it,” Matteo insisted, cutting him off. “Jonas, it’s my relationship, okay? It doesn’t really matter to you.”

“Okay. I’m sorry,” he apologized. He turned toward the wedding planner. “Please continue, ma’am.”

She shook her head. “I’m going to come back at a time when Mr. Bianchi is present as well. Hopefully then we can make some real decisions.”

The wedding planner gathered her things and strutted out of the hotel room. As soon as the door shut behind her, Matteo frowned. “I really don’t like her.”

“She seems to be kind of a stingy bitch,” he agreed. “If I were you, I’d fire her.”

“I can’t,” Matteo replied, shaking his head. “She’s the cousin of Riccardo’s best friend. We don’t really have much of a choice.”

“You don’t have to limit yourself to only doing what he tells you to do,” he told him. “After all, a relationship is a two way street. I mean, you’re marrying the guy. This is your wedding too. It’s alright for you to make some of the decisions, even if you're not the one bringing in the money.”

Matteo looked away from him. “I know that, but sometimes it’s just easier to let him decide. I mean, he  _ is _ the smarter one. He’s a rich accountant and I couldn’t even finish university.”

“I thought you left for him,” Jonas replied furrowing his eyebrows.

“Yeah, but I never tried to go to school in Italy,” he clarified. “Or tried to get a job. I just kind of sit around the house all day, bored out of my fucking mind.”

“Why are you getting married to him then? Like, if your life is so fucking miserable,” Jonas asked. “I mean, this could be a sign that it’s time for a change.”

“He makes me happy, I guess,” Matteo shrugged. “Sure, my life isn’t fantastic, but he’s still the best thing in it.”

Jonas reached forward and squeezed his hand. “You deserve to be happy.”

And he meant it. Matteo deserved the world and, even if Jonas was jealous, Riccardo made him happy, so it was going to have to be okay if he stayed.

* * *

Amira and Jonas got along, but they had never been particularly close. She was nice and they always managed to make conversation when they were in groups together, but Jonas never really hung out alone with her, except when he was over and Hanna was cooking or something.

But, desperate times called for desperate measures, so he found himself knocking on her front door at a time that he knew Hanna was going to be working at the hospital.

She opened the door, appearing confused. “Jonas? Hanna isn’t home right now. She’ll be back in about three hours, but I’m willing to bet she’ll be exhausted since she’s been on an overnight shift.”

“I’m actually here to talk to you,” he clarified.

“Me?” she said, eyes widening. “We’ve never really talked before.”

He shrugged. “I need advice and you’re incredibly wise and intelligent.”

Amira laughed and moved out of the doorway. “I don’t know about  _ that _ but you can come on in.”

He entered into their small townhouse and took a seat on the soft couch. He had always admired Hanna and Amira’s home. It was a place where, just upon walking in, you felt safe and loved. The furniture was beautiful and it was always spotless. They should have been the ones getting married, as they were romantically and economically stable. On top of that, everyone who knew them knew that they had to be soulmates.

She asked him if he wanted tea, but he declined, so she went into a kitchen to get her own cup and also returned with a glass of water for him just in case he needed it. He admired Amira’s ability to think of others at any and all times. She truly was a kind person.

“So,” she started, sitting sideways on the other side of the couch so that she was facing him, “what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I need advice,” he admitted. “I thought that you might be the best person to go to.”

“I’m not an all-knowing being, but I can try,” she chuckled.

“Were you in love with Hanna while the two of us were still together?” he asked. “And, if you were, how did you deal with it?”

Amira shrugged. “Yeah, I was extremely in love with her, but the two of you seemed so happy at the time, so I just let it be. She was happy and I didn’t want to take that away from her.”

Jonas nodded. “We weren’t as happy as we seemed, but she always tried so hard to hide it until the very end. I appreciate that you were looking out for her even then, though. You’re truly an amazing person if you can just sit back and watch the person you love be with someone else for the sake of their own happiness.”

“Thank you,” she replied with a smile. “Hanna wasn’t getting married, though. If she was getting married, well then that would be my last chance to tell her how I felt. Then, I might have been a bit more selfish and told her the truth about my feelings.”

“How did you know?” Jonas asked in a quiet voice. “Did Hanna tell you?”

Amira shook her head. “Jonas, everyone knows how you feel about him. That is, everyone other than Matteo himself. You loved him even before he dropped out and moved to Florence.”

“Did everybody else know before I did?” he chuckled half-heartedly.

“Everyone other than Matteo,” she confirmed. “I have a feeling that he would never have moved to Italy if he knew that he had a chance with you. He was so in love with you, but he convinced himself that you could never feel the same way about him.”

“But now I’m too late,” Jonas sighed, looking out the window, watching the trees sway in the wind. No matter how much their leaves got ruffled, they were able to stand strong and, every year after they had lost them, the leaves were able to grow again. He wondered if he would be able to grown again after the wedding was over, as he could already feel the leaves falling from his branches.

“Yeah,” Amira agreed. “Maybe it is too late, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try.”

His head snapped back and he looked at her for a moment. “Are you saying that I might have a chance?”

“For once, I have no idea,” she admitted. “What I do know is that you only truly won’t have a chance if you don’t try. You should talk to him. It doesn’t have to be now but, if it comes to it, you should tell him how you feel.”

“It’s terrifying,” he whispered.

“You still have a lot of time before the wedding,” she reminded him. “Just think about it, okay?”

He nodded. “I will.”

“For the record, I’m not a fan of Riccardo either,” Amira confessed. “I think he’s a bit rude and dismissive. Nobody else sees it, but I do.”

“Thank you, Amira,” he smiled. “I knew that I could come to you for help.”

“Of course,” she replied. “We’re friends. I’ll be here for you when you need it.”

Jonas left the house with a grin on his face. Sure, the things with Matteo were still fucked, but he still had his friends, and that’s what mattered more than any relationship ever could.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [come say hi!](http://jonasmatteo.tumblr.com/)

On Friday, Jonas rewrote his article exactly how his boss asked him too. It didn’t feel like  _ him _ when he was done. It wasn’t his writing style and it wasn’t exactly the message that he wanted to convey, but part of continuing along his career path as a journalist was going to have to be writing the things he was asked to in the way that he was asked to write them.

He sent it to his editor before noon and knew that he was in the clear for a little bit, but he was going to have to stay under the radar and do what he was asked for the next few weeks. He had to get on his boss’s good side, especially if he wanted to move to a bigger news outlet one day.

Mia, looking as tired as ever, rolled her chair over to Jonas’ desk. “Are you done rewriting?” she asked.

“Just sent it in,” he confirmed.

“God, I wish that the lovely Linda Wolf didn’t hold a stupid grudge against me,” Mia groaned. “You better look out, Jonas. I want your job.”

“You literally have the same job as me,” he pointed out.

She shook her head. “Only in title. I get all the shit assignments and you get all of the good ones. I want to write about activism, not about cafeteria food and how much time teens spend on their phones.”

“I can’t help what articles I get,” he snapped. “Y’know, maybe this job isn’t as great as you seem to think it is.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “I didn’t say it was perfect, I just said that I want to write for the topics that you get to write for.”

He rolled his eyes and turned toward his screen, which was filled with information about an immigration law that some people were trying to bring into the Bundestag.

Mia reached out and grabbed his arm. “Don’t be like that. I’m your friend, you should treat me like one.”

“I’m just trying to work,” he replied, glaring at her.

“Fine,” she said, shaking her head. “You need to step off of your pedestal for a hot second and see how you’re treating the people around you, though.”

Jonas clenched his fists. “Well, I’m sorry that we can’t all be fucking perfect like you, Mia.”

“I’m not perfect,” she argued.

“You hook up with whoever you please whenever you please, your job is going pretty well, you have a good relationships with your friends,” he began to list.

“Jonas, that was you two months ago as well,” she pointed out. “Just because you’re lusting after a guy who’s engaged, that doesn’t mean that your entire life has gone to shit. You’re doing pretty good. Better than most people, that’s for sure.”

“I just want to quit this job and move to a new country so that I can start over,” he grumbled.

“That sounds a bit familiar,” Mia replied.

Jonas furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“You think Matteo was stupid for dropping out of university and moving to a new country for a guy, but you’re talking about doing the same thing,” she explained.

“I’m not serious, though,” he clarified. “Besides, I would be moving to get away from the guy I can never have.”

“Are you sure that’s not what he did?” she asked, leaving him in silence as she put her headphones in and rolled her chair back over to her desk to continue writing.

Could it be true? Was Jonas the real reason that Matteo abandoned all of his career aspirations and moved to Italy, leaving all of his friends behind?

* * *

Somehow, time seemed to fly at the speed of light and there was only two more weeks until the wedding. After the mess that was their attempt in planning the wedding, Riccardo took it over, being the only one to speak to the planner and make arrangements.

Meanwhile, Jonas had to plan the bachelor party. Per German tradition, the point of the party was to humiliate the groom before his wedding night, but Jonas didn’t want him to be shocked by the embarrassment, so he invited Matteo over to plan it with him.

“So,” Jonas began when they were both seated on the couch. “I was thinking that we could do the classic selling shots on a tray thing instead of condoms and shit because I don’t want to put you through that.”

Matteo clenched his eyes shut but nodded. “It still doesn’t sound amazing, but I guess it’ll have to do.”

“And I was thinking we could start at 21 in the Gendarmenmarkt,” Jonas continued.

The other boy went pale. “Jonas, no. We can’t do it there. Don’t humiliate me in front of a bunch of random tourists!”

“Sorry, bro, but that’s the point,” Jonas replied, ruffling his hair. “It’s just shots, though, so it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“Please tell me you aren’t going to make me wear something embarrassing,” he pleaded.

“Hanna picked out the biggest, ugliest Hawaiian shirt that she could find, but it could’ve been much worse,” Jonas informed him.

Matteo put his head in his hands. “God, I should’ve had Amira be my maid of honor. She would never put me through something like this,” he mumbled.

“This is what best friends are for,” Jonas reminded him, slowly rubbing up and down his back.

“I need a new best friend,” Matteo groaned, throwing himself backward so that his back was on the couch.

“You tried that already, but I’m too important to you. Sorry, not sorry,” he joked.

“What do you mean?” Matteo asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “When did I try to find a new best friend?”

Jonas shrugged. “When you dropped out of university and ran off to Italy. I’m sure you tried to find someone to replace me at some point.”

The other boy frowned. “No, Jonas. I never tried to replace you. Also, I left because I fell in love. It had nothing to do with you.”

“But why did you go to Italy in the first place?” Jonas asked. “We were all here that summer, but you disappeared and ended up staying because of some guy that was far too old for you.”

“He’s not too old for me, Jonas,” Matteo argued, crossing his arms. “We’re adults. In the end, 28 and 23 aren’t that far apart.”

“When you started dating, you were 19 and he was 24,” Jonas pointed out.

“That doesn’t matter. I was still an adult. He was an adult. A few years is nothing when our relationship is balanced. Besides, you weren’t there. You don’t understand how I felt, how I still feel.”

“I just think it was stupid of you to drop out of university and run off with him after only a summer,” Jonas told him. “You could have made a lot of money being a civil engineer, but now you just depend on him for everything. That can’t be healthy.”

“You can’t blame me for falling in love!” Matteo snapped, standing up off of the couch. “I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be a civil engineer anyway.”

“And you missed your chance to find out,” Jonas reasoned.

“No, I really didn’t. We have the money for me to go back if I ever want to,” Matteo informed him. “I thought you were my best friend. I thought you would be here to support me in my marriage.”

Now Jonas stood up to and rest a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I really didn’t mean it that way,” he said softly, in an attempt to salvage their friendship.

Matteo pushed his hand away. “I’ll see you on 21 on Saturday for the bachelor party,” he said, before turning away and leaving the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Jonas slammed his head on the wall. He needed to grow up and respect his best friend’s decision to leave and his decision to get married. Now, even Jonas could see that he was kind of being a dick.

* * *

Mia and Jonas were eating their weekly dinner together on Friday night when there came a loud knocking on the door. Jonas was mildly annoyed, as he was really enjoying the paella that Mia had learned to make during her time in Spain, but still he got up to answer it.

He silently hoped it was Matteo. He wasn’t sure if things between the two of them still needed fixing or if Matteo was over it, and he didn’t really know how to figure it out.

However, when he opened the door, he was greeted by two very wasted girls, leaning on one another for support. It was Sam and Kiki and they were giggly and wobbly all at once.

“Mia!” Kiki called out. “Mia we love you so so so so  _ so  _ much please come over here.”

Mia’s laughter radiated from their kitchen as she joined them by the front door. “Maybe you two should sit down on the couch,” she suggested. “Before you fall or something.”

Sam’s eyes widened and she looked to Kiki. “Oh my god! She’s right! We should sit, Kiki!”

The two of them staggered toward the couch together and sat down. Sam wrapped her arm around the blond girl, who rested her head upon her shoulder. Jonas and Mia sat down on their two recliners.

“So is everything okay?” Jonas inquired, looking between them uneasily. If they were drunk, there could be a reason for it, especially if it was only dinner time. Granted, it was a relatively late dinner.

“Everything is fantastic!” Kiki chirped. “It’s literally like the best day of my whole entire life!”

Sam gasped. “Oh my god, Kiki! It’s the best day of my life too! I’ve never had a day better than this one.”

“Did you come here just to tell us how wonderful your day was?” Mia asked, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. “And, also, how did you get so wasted to fast?”

“Tequila!” they exclaimed in unison.

“It’s Kiki’s favorite,” Sam whispered, but it was more than loud enough for everyone to hear. “I like it to but also she likes it best.”

“So, what’s so wonderful about today?” Jonas asked.

Kiki leaned over Sam and grabbed his wrist, shaking it quickly. “Everything, Jonas. Everything is wonderful,” she replied, before leaning back and giggling.

“But, like, did something happen?” Mia asked them.

“Yes!” Kiki chirped. “The best thing happened.”

Sam smiled more widely than Jonas had ever seen anyone smile. “Kiki asked me on a date!”

“And it’s all because of you, Jonas! That’s why we wanted to tell you first,” Kiki added. “You made me realize that I  _ had _ to ask her out when we went to get coffee a while back.”

Jonas grinned, happy for his two friends even though Kiki’s asking did mean that he had lost the bet that he had with Mia. “It’s not because of me, Kiki. You’re the one who was brave enough to actually do it.”

“He’s right!” Sam exclaimed before pressing a sloppy kiss to Kiki’s lips.

Kiki pulled away with wide eyes. “Jonas. OMG!”

“What?” he asked, unsure of what she was going to say. He looked toward Mia, but she was too busy laughing her ass off.

“Are you going to tell Matteo how you feel?” she asked. “We all know that you love him so much.”

“He’s getting married. I don’t know if that’s-” Mia began.

“I didn’t ask you, did I?” Kiki interrupted.

“No, I’m not going to ruin his life over a stupid crush,” Jonas said solemnly.

“It’s not a stupid crush,” Sam argued. “You are valid, Jonas Augustin, and your feelings are too.”

Jonas snorted. “Thank you, Sam. It means a lot.”

“No, she’s right,” Kiki interjected. “You and Matteo are like  _ soulmates _ or something. You can’t let that ugly Italian dude get in your way!”

“He’s definitely an attractive guy,” Sam argued.

Kiki wrinkled her nose. “But he’s a  _ man _ , Sam.”

They all broke out into laughter and Kiki looked between them as if she was unsure as to what was so funny.

Sam sniffed loudly. “Is that food that I smell?”

“I made paella for our Friday night dinner,” Mia told them.

The two girls on the couch looked at one another for a moment before dashing toward the kitchen. Mia followed after them, giggling to herself.

Maybe Jonas should tell Matteo. If he was truly dedicated to Riccardo, then it wouldn’t make a difference. But, then again, it could shatter their friendship. The wedding was so close and a love confession would be coming out of left field. Jonas couldn’t do that to his best friend, could he?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [come say hi!](http://jonasmatteo.tumblr.com/)

It was exactly  21:12 and Matteo still wasn’t at Gendarmenmarkt. It wasn’t like him to be late, especially when he knew that people would be waiting on him. 

Everyone else was already there. Kiki and Sam were standing together, hand in hand. Mia was sitting on the ground next to the tray of shots with her knees drawn to her chest. Hanna seemed the most annoyed, with the giant Hawaiian shirt draped over her arms. Amira kept a hand on the small of her back to keep her centered. Jonas was anxious. What if Matteo didn’t show up and it was all because of him?

Mia grabbed ahold of his ankle. “Jonas, relax. He’ll be here.”

“Mia, you don’t understand,” he whispered harshly. “I might have fucked everything up and I-”

“Sorry I’m late,” Matteo panted, as he had obviously run from wherever he came from. “I missed the bus and had to wait for the next one.”

“It’s not a problem,” Kiki assured him. “After all, tonight is about you.”

“And your own personal humiliation,” Hanna added, pushing the shirt toward him. “Put this on, please.”

He took it from her and slipped it on before buttoning it up. It was ridiculously large, covering down to the middle of his thighs. “Can I at least have one of those shots first before we start with all of this.”

“Absolutely not,” Amira replied in a joking tone. “Rule one of business, don’t consume your own product. You’ve got to be a moneymaker for us, Matteo.”

“We brought vodka instead,” Sam informed him, pulling a large bottle out of her purse. Jonas had no idea how she had fit that in there.

Matteo graciously accepted the bottle and took a large swig. “Thanks,” he said after handing it back to her.

Sam offered it to Jonas. “You’re next, Mr. Best Man. You seem tense and we can’t have any of that tonight.”

Jonas sighed before snagging the bottle from her and twisting off the cap, taking a large gulp of the burning liquor with barely a wince.

“Get it, Jonas,” Kiki laughed.

Matteo leaned over to grab the tray of shots and Jonas couldn’t help but take a small glance at his ass. Mia caught him looking and gave him a small knowing smirk.

Amira and Hanna helped him to strap the tray onto his chest, and he finally got a look at what he was selling.

“So I just have to sell these little shot bottles to random people around here?” he asked. “And then, when I’m out, I’m done?”

“Have you never been to a bachelor’s party before?” Kiki asked incredulously.

“Only Italian ones,” he replied with a shrug, which made the bottles clatter inside the tray.

“From what I’ve heard, it’s a bit harder than it looks,” Hanna informed him. “My dad did it before his first wedding and he said he did it all night and, by the time he was done, he was completely plastered.”

“Fantastic,” Matteo said, offering them a fake smile. “I guess I’ve got to get to work.”

“The going rate is five euros a piece,” Jonas told him. “So, good fucking luck man.”

“I’ve got this. I’m marrying a man who’s all about money,” Matteo reminded him, even though he wished that he wouldn’t have.

“Go get ‘em, tiger,” Sam encouraged, slapping his ass.

Matteo let out a throaty laugh that rocked Jonas’ entire world before making his way out into the crowd of nighttime tourists.

Hanna threw an arm around Jonas’ shoulder. “Our little boy is growing up,” she sighed. “I can’t believe he’s the first one to get married.”

“I always thought you and Amira would beat us all out,” Jonas replied.

“And I always thought that you’d be the one marrying him, but I guess things don’t always work out as we hope they will,” she whispered before patting his shoulder and running off to join her girlfriend in her enjoyment of Matteo’s first awkward attempt at selling a shot to a stranger.

Jonas stared at his best friend for a moment. Hanna was right. Matteo had grown up. He was still the amazing boy that Jonas had met in kindergarten, but he was stronger now, more independent. Matteo didn’t need Jonas anymore. But, there was a huge problem with that. Jonas needed him.

* * *

 

As the night went on, everyone except for Amira got progressively drunker. It had been two hours and Matteo had sold half the shots and, well, they had consumed some of them themselves after running out of Sam’s tequila.

Amira looked stressed as fuck, doting after her wasted girlfriend as well as Sam and Kiki. Mia was out of it as well, but she was better at managing her drunkenness these days, even though she hadn’t really starting drinking much until university. Jonas was too stressed to be drunk, no matter how much alcohol he consumed.

Well, at least he thought he was. Jonas was never quite able to tell when he got plastered until after, when he had a bitch of a hangover and realized that he might have made some poor decisions.

Matteo wasn’t exactly sober either, which made the shot selling process much harder. Nobody wanted to buy alcohol from a man who clearly had already consumed too much. Plus, he was wearing that oversized Hawaiian shirt and his hair was beginning to get messy. Jonas thought it was cute, but the strangers that he was supposed to be selling to probably thought he looked homeless. Especially the tourists, who wouldn’t be all too familiar with German wedding traditions.

Then, Jonas saw what was simultaneously the funniest and most atrocious thing that he had even seen happen before his own two eyes.

Matteo’s shoelace had come untied at some point during the evening and he tripped, shoe flying one way as he fell the other, coming crashing down with the tray of shots in his arm.

Jonas sprinted over to assist him, hoping that he hadn’t been cut by any of the little bottles. “Are you okay?!” he asked checking his friend for any cuts or bruises.

Matteo shrieked in laughter as he pushed Jonas off of him. “I’m fine, just a lil’ bit wet,” he slurred. “But I’m all outta shots for the night.”

Sure enough, Matteo was soaked in the liquor from the little shot bottles, but every bottle in the tray had gotten shattered, which meant he was, in fact, done for the night.

“So what’s the final profit?” Amira asked from above them.

Matteo reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of bills and coins, shoving them into her hands. “37 euros,” he mumbled.

“Wasn’t it supposed to be a multiple of five or something?” Sam asked, or maybe slurred more than asked.

“I gave someone a deal,” he clarified. “She let me pet her puppy, so it was only fair.”

“Valid,” Mia laughed.

“We should get all of you home,” Amira suggested.

“Does anyone know the bus schedule?!” Sam yelled out toward the crowd.

“I’ll drop  you two off on my way home,” Amira offered, and they followed her off in the direction of her car, leaving the remaining three people to find their own ways back.

“We gotta get you to your hotel,” Mia stated. “I’m not sure you can get there all by yourself.”

“I’m not sure I can get there at all,” Matteo sighed. “Maybe I’ll text Riccardo and I can stay at yours.”

“That’s fine by me,” Jonas replied instantly. “There’s always room for you at our place. Right Mia?”

The blond girl nodded in confirmation.

Matteo threw his arms over the both of them as they made their way toward the bus stop. Alone, it was doubtful that anyone could make it home, but they were together, so they were unstoppable.

* * *

As soon as they made it home, Mia walked straight into her room and shut the door behind her. When she got truly drunk, all she wanted to do was go to bed, so he was sure that she’d passed out for the night.

Matteo stripped off the soaked Hawaiian shirt then looked down to his t-shirt with a frown. “This one is wet too.”

“It’s a good thing you’re still a skinny kid,” Jonas said, patting him on the back. “You can borrow one of mine.”

Matteo followed him into the bedroom and Jonas suddenly realized the irony of the situation. He had finally gotten the other boy in his bedroom, but he still couldn’t have him.

Jonas grabbed a gray shirt with the name of some brewery on the front and tossed it to his friend. Matteo caught it and placed it on the bed for a moment before getting to work on removing his dirty shirt.

He couldn’t look away as Matteo pulled the wet shirt over his head, revealing his pale abs, somehow untouched by the warm Italian sun. He had a mole just under his right pec that Jonas had never noticed before, though he had seen the other boy shirtless countless times. This time he was taking a closer look, even though he knew that it was forbidden.

Discarding the shirt on the bed, Matteo reached for the clean one. Perhaps out of instinct, Jonas lightly grabbed is shoulder to stop him, turning him so they were facing one another. Jonas took a step forward, and now they were mere inches apart.

“Matteo,” he breathed.

“Jonas?” the other boy replied. His pupils were blown wide, their blackness drowning out the blue of his eyes.

“Don’t marry him,” Jonas requested, before leaning over and capturing his lips in his own, placing his hands upon the other boy’s bare waist.

Matteo went pliant in his arms, falling back onto the bed with Jonas on top of him, kissing him fervently. They laid like that for a few moments, kissing desperately, like they had never kissed anyone before, until Matteo finally shoved him off and sat up straight.

“I can’t do this,” he gasped. “I’m getting married in a week.”

Jonas brought his hand up and lightly traced Matteo’s cheekbone with his thumb. “You don’t have to marry him. Let him go back to Florence alone. Like I said, you always have a place here.”

“Jonas, I’m getting married to Riccardo because I’m in love with him,” Matteo said sadly, pushing his way out of the bed. “I don’t  _ want _ him to return to Italy without me.”

“But you wanted it!” Jonas loudly protested. “You were kissing me back!”

“I’m drunk, Jonas,” Matteo replied, shaking his head. “And you’ve done nothing but confuse me since I returned to Berlin. I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t have shown up at all. Please, don’t bother trying to be alongside me at the altar. I need someone who supports me there.”

“Sure, you love Riccardo, but you love me too,” Jonas stated. It was a fact, and the both of them knew it to be true.

“Does that matter, though?” Matteo asked, throwing his hands up into the air. “Yeah, maybe I do love you. Maybe I always have. But, in the end, I chose him.”

“I don’t understand,” Jonas replied shaking his head. “Why choose him over me?”

“Because Riccardo has never broken my heart, and you have,” Matteo said before turning around and walking out the door, leaving Jonas there, feeling more alone than ever before.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [come say hi!](http://jonasmatteo.tumblr.com/)  
>  Motek is Hebrew for sweetheart.

Jonas woke up in the morning feeling just as lonely as when he he had gone to bed the night before. He needed something to make him feel whole again. He considered alcohol, but his head was still pounding from the previous night and day drinking was never really a good thing, especially when he was upset.

He decided to get up in pursuit of breakfast, because maybe food would be a good first step toward filling the ever-widening gap in his heart.

Slowly padding toward the kitchen, Jonas heard the shower running. It was Mia. Maybe she could give him what he needed. After all, what were friends with benefits for?

He opened the bathroom door and walked in, stripping off his clothes as he walked inside. When he reached the shower, he ripped the curtain open.

“Jonas, what the fuck!” Mia shrieked, grabbing the curtain from his hands to cover herself.

“I want you,” he replied, trying to grab the curtain back from her, but she held onto it as tight as she could.

“Are you still drunk or something?” she asked, seeming pissed off.

“I wish,” he replied, before leaning in for a kiss, which she dodged.

Mia reached with one hand to turn off the water. “Jonas, what the fuck happened? Why are you acting like this?”

“I kissed Matteo, but he doesn’t want me back,” he explained.

Mia frowned. “Jonas, I’m so sorry.”

“I still have you, though,” he reasoned before darting his head forward and pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

She pulled away immediately and dropped the curtain, but only to slap him in the face. “Stop being a fucking creep and sort your shit,” she ordered before storming out of the bathroom.

He held his aching cheek for a moment, shocked that she had rejected him in such a dramatic manner. He quickly slipped his underwear back on and left the bathroom.

Jonas made it to the hallway just in time to see Mia step outside the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

He let his back fall against the wall and slid down it, his face falling into his hands as the tears began to fall. He was being a disgusting, selfish asshole and it was driving everyone away. He had lost his two best friends in less than 24 hours and, once words of what happened got out, he would lose his other friends to.

For once in his life, Jonas had nobody. He debated going home, but his family didn’t live in Berlin anymore, and driving three hours from Braunschweig to get to work every morning would be a bit ridiculous when he had an apartment right in the city.

On the outside, Jonas knew he appeared to be cocky and confident, but nobody really saw the inside. The real Jonas. And, for him, everything was falling apart.

* * *

“This is Mia’s phone. I can’t take your call right now, but please leave a message after the beep,” Mia’s voice sounded before the loud beeping sound.

Jonas didn’t waste a breath before leaving his tenth message in a row. “Mia, I’m so sorry. I’m a dick and I took advantage of you and that’s not okay. What I did was fucking wrong and I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life, but please don’t just ignore me. I can’t lose you. Not as a friend. Fuck sex. I don’t need that. I just need you. And, please, don’t skip work just because of what happened between us yesterday.”

He walked into the front door of the newspaper headquarters and made his way to his desk. Mia wasn’t there, which was unsurprising. She probably needed a day or so before she was even ready to  _ look  _ at him, much less sit next to him for the entire day.

“Jonas!” Dr. Wolf called from the doorway. “Will you please join me in my office? I have an assignment for you.”

Nodding, Jonas stood up into his chair and followed her into her office, taking a seat across from her.

“You can stand if you’d like,” she told him. He took her up on the offer, leaning on the chair with his right hand as he stood facing her, waiting for the assignment.

“Your article on same-sex relationships was extremely well received and I am proud of you delivering such excellent work,” she said with a smile.

It wasn’t even really his work. He had written what she told him to write, and that was why she liked it.

“So, what’s next?” he asked her.

“A little birdie has told me that you’re Jewish,” she started. “I think an article on the achievements of German Jews since the end of the Holocaust would be lovely for our newspaper.”

“I love the idea, but I’m not sure that I’m comfortable writing it,” he replied. “It’s a little too close to home for me. My grandfather was a teenager when he was in the camps, and he barely made it out alive.”

“But you’d be celebrating your culture!” she protested. “I can’t think of anyone better to write it than you.”

“Because I’m Jewish?”

“We might get backlash if a non-Jew writes it,” she reasoned.

“Sorry, I can’t write that article,” Jonas replied, shaking his head. “I don’t want to be the person who writes about this just because I have the same religion.”

“It would make the article more genuine.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Jonas argued. “Because I wrote my genuine thoughts in my last article and you censored me.”

“We have to print what would be popular. That’s how a business works,” she informed him.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said, throwing his hands up into the air. “Dr. Wolf, I quit. I can’t work here anymore, as least not for you.”

He walked out the door.

“You’re wasting an excellent job for your own pride,” she called after him.

Jonas ignored her. His life had gone to complete and utter shit, but at least he still had at least a tiny shred of his dignity remaining.

* * *

Tuesday was slightly better than Monday. Sure, Jonas was alone, but he was going to start getting his life back together. After all, he was already jobless, loveless, and friendless. Things really couldn’t get any worse, unless he got some tragic call about his family.

He slept until noon and then lazily wandered into the kitchen, wearing only a pair of gray sweatpants. Because he lacked a job, he had the time to make eggs for himself and he actually sat down and ate a real breakfast for once.

Then he took a long shower. Like, a half an hour at the very least. He just thought about things under the warm spray. By the end of it, Jonas was highly considering writing a memoir, though he had no idea what he would write it about. Eventually, the water got cold and he had to turn the water off and get out, but he would definitely rate it among one of his best showers ever.

After he got out, he made himself a cup of tea and laid on the couch with his laptop open, opening up LinkedIn. He had enough money saved to last a little while, but he needed to find a job as soon as he could, or he’d be moving to Braunschweig and sleeping on his parents’ couch for a while, which wasn’t very desirable, as much as he loved them. 

He also needed a job in journalism, otherwise his career could become stuck. What would hiring committees think if there was a huge gap in his resume where he worked as a barista or a waiter or something.

When his phone started ringing, he nearly jumped. He looked over to see it was a call from his mom. Suddenly, he felt a bit guilty since he hadn’t called her in a while.

“Hi, Mama,” he said with a smile as he answered it.

“Jonas!” she said excitedly. “It’s been far too long! How are you doing lately, honey?”

“I’m alive,” he replied, with a half-hearted chuckle.

“Are you excited for Matteo’s wedding?” she asked. “Your father and I were so overjoyed when we heard the news. That boy was such a sad little teenager. We’re happy to see that he’s doing better.”

Jonas bit his lip, unsure of whether to tell his mom how he truly felt about the wedding. He was always so open to her about his feelings, but they had talked less in the recent past. Fuck it. There was always room for nostalgia.

“Mama, I don’t know if I’m going to go to the wedding after all,” he confessed. “I screwed everything up and lost my place as the best man. I’m not sure that Matteo even wants me there.”

“Nonsense!” she exclaimed. “Matteo cares about you, motek. There’s nothing you could do to make him want you to skip out on one of the most important days of his life.”

“I kissed him,” he mumbled. 

“Oh, my boy,” his mother said softly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you still loved him after all these years.”

“How did you-” he started.

“A mother always knows,” she interrupted.

The tears started dripping down his face and he knew that she could hear him sniffling on the other line. Jonas didn’t have to put up a show with his mother. She didn’t expect him to be anyone but himself.

“I just don’t know what to do,” he sniffled. “I ruined things with him, I majorly messed up my friendship with Mia, and I quit my job with no backup options.”

“Honey, do you want me to come visit you tonight?”

“No,” Jonas replied, wiping his eyes. “I’ll be fine. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Your friends will forgive you, motek. And, as for your job, I’m sure you quit it for a reason. You will find a better one,” she said. Her words were comforting, just as they always had been.

“Thank you, Mama,” he said.

“I love you so much and I’m so proud of you, Jonas,” she replied. “I’ll see you on Saturday, right?”

“See you then,” he confirmed, before ending the call and hugging the phone to his chest. At least he had his family. He would always have them.

The sound of keys in the door made him shoot upright. The knob twisted, revealing a very exhausted looking Mia.

“You’re back,” he breathed, before clambered off the couch and making his way toward her. “Mia, I’m so sorry about everything that happened.”

“I got your messages,” she informed him. “And it’s okay, Jonas. Well, what you did wasn’t okay, but you’re obviously sorry and you won’t do it again. I’m not going to hold a grudge because you were a fucking idiot. But this kissing and sex thing between us is over, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine by me,” he agreed. “I just need my best friend back.”

“I’m here for you, Jonas,” Mia confirmed. “I just needed some time and space. You’re still my best friend. Good luck trying to get out of that.”

“I quit my job,” he confessed.

She nodded. “It’s about time. That job made you miserable. You should write a book or something instead of writing what someone tells you to. Your ideas are too big for any newspaper.”

“I missed you,” he mumbled as he wrapped his arms around her in a warm hug.

“I’m here, Jonas,” Mia whispered. “I’m here.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is the last chapter ripppp.  
> thank you for reading <3<3<3  
> [come say hi!](http://jonasmatteo.tumblr.com/)

It was nine in the morning and Jonas was still in bed, wondering whether or not he should go to the wedding, which started at 15. It was at some Catholic church that was just outside the city. Jonas had been there once as a kid when he slept over at Matteo’s on a Saturday night and they had dragged him to mass at the ass crack of dawn, even though he was very Jewish.

But the location of the church and the religion practiced there wasn’t the problem. He still was unsure as to whether he would be welcome there. He had skipped the polterabend the night before, which he was surprised even ended up happening. He didn’t feel like Riccardo would understand or appreciate the tradition of destroying old porcelain plates and cups for good luck on the night before the wedding.

So Jonas laid in bed, staring up at the pale white ceiling and wondering if he had fucked up so bad that he shouldn’t even bother showing up at Matteo’s wedding. Maybe him being there could be the last straw that broke their friendship for good. But, also, maybe skipping it could have the same effect. Jonas didn’t know what to do, but he also knew that while he was in bed, he didn’t really have to make that choice yet.

There was a loud knocking on his bedroom door. “Fuck off, Mia,” he groaned before rolling over and burying his face in his pillow.

The door opened anyway. “Get out of bed and grow the fuck up, bitch,” said a familiar voice.

“Hanna?” he said, turning over to see the girl in question. She had obviously just showered before coming to his house but was still wearing gray sweats and a peach t-shirt.

“I’m here because Mia is too nice to you,” she informed him. “Get your ass out of bed and shower. The ceremony starts at 15, so you need t be there at 14:30 at the latest, and it’s a 20 minute drive. It’s already 9:10, so you have five hours to shower, eat, and get your feelings out of the way before it starts.”

“Five hours means I can go back to bed,” he pointed out.

“No, because my hair appointment is in an hour and a half and you’re coming with, whether you like it or not,” Hanna clarified.

“I have a car. I can drive myself,” Jonas protested.

“Too fucking bad,” she snapped. “I want to make sure you go, so you’re coming with me, whether you like it or not.”

Jonas groaned. “You really do hate me, don’t you?”

“I care about you more than most people on this bitch of an earth,” Hanna laughed. “Even if you are the most dramatic person I’ve ever met.”

He glared at her for a second. “I am  _ not _ dramatic. Do you even know what happened between Matteo and I?”

“Yeah, you kissed him. It was about time,” she shrugged. “He made me his maid of honor like the next day, which proves that he is equally as dramatic as you.”

“Or that he never wants to look at me again,” Jonas mumbled.

“You can’t know how he would feel about you being there,” Hanna replied. “There’s only one way to know that for sure and that’s by showing up.”

“I don’t know,” he said, staring up at the ceiling as if it’d give him advice.

“Well, you can figure it out when we get there,” she told him before walking out of his bedroom and shutting the door behind her.

Well, the wedding was going to happen and, no matter how he felt about it, Jonas was going to be there.

They pulled into the parking lot of the church at 14:10 since Hanna liked to be early. She looked absolutely stunning in her flowy mint-colored dress, her hair in an updo with a white flower tucked into it.

Jonas was in a gray suit with a pink tie. He didn’t dare wear the clothes that he had originally planned to wear when he was supposed to be the best man.

Hanna made her way up to the first row to sit down and chat with Riccardo’s best man, who was his younger brother. From what it sounded like, they both were talking in very broken English. Jonas silently wondered how good Riccardo’s German was, as he had barely spoken with him. He tried to shake the thought from his mind. This was Matteo’s day and he needed to push the jealousy aside.

Mia waved at him from the fifth row. She looked stunning as well. Her hair was down and she was wearing a short baby blue dress that brought out her eyes. He walked over and sat down beside her.

“I’m happy you came,” she said with a soft smile.

“Hanna didn’t really give me much of a choice,” he told her.

“Still,” she said, “I’m really happy that you’re here. I have a feeling that you would regret missing Matteo’s big moment.”

Amira, Sam, and Kiki all walked in together. The latter two were holding hands and wearing matching floral yellow sundresses. Amira was wearing a light pink hijab with a matching skirt and a frilly white blouse. Jonas didn’t know how he had acquired so many beautiful friends.

They sat on his other side. Kiki was right next to him and gave him a tight hug before leaning back and launching into a long story about her morning.

Because Jonas was surrounded by his friends, the time flew. Soon enough, the church was crowded with guests for the wedding, including Jonas’ family, who seemed to be bursting with happiness for the boy who was practically their own son. Matteo’s actual family was there too, but they seemed bored and disinterested with having to go to his wedding.

He spared a glance up at Hanna, who looked stressed. Jonas pulled out his phone, which he had put on silent, and checked it. The ceremony was due to start in two minutes and he had gotten about seven missed calls from Hanna.

He swiped to call her back and she picked up on the first ring. “Jonas, thank god. Have you talked to Matteo?”

“I haven’t spoken to him since the bachelor party,” he whispered into the phone. “Did he see me and freak out or something? This is why I didn’t want to come. I can leave if I have to.”

“Jonas, he’s not here,” she informed him. “Domenico said that Riccardo hasn’t seen him since he got up. He thought they were going to meet at the chapel, but he still hasn’t shown up.”

“And he didn’t say anything about it?” Jonas asked. “I feel like he would’ve said something.”

“He told Riccardo that he needed a few moments to think at like eight in the morning and apparently he never came back.”

Jonas wracked his brain, trying to think about where Matteo could be, and then it hit him. “Hanna, I need your keys.”

He pushed past everyone to get out of the row and made it up to Hanna, who reached into her purse and pulled out her car keys. “Bring him back,” she said before dropping them in his hand. “Or don’t, but tell me if that happens.”

“I will,” Jonas promised. 

He booked it down the aisle, able to feel every eye in the room on him. He had almost made it out to the parking lot when a hand caught his wrist.

It was Riccardo, and his eyes were red. He looked absolutely terrified. “Is he okay?” the man asked.

“I hope so,” Jonas breathed.

“And you think you can find him?”

“I hope so,” he repeated.

Riccardo nodded. “I just want him to be okay. Fuck the wedding if that’s not what he wants. I think I could handle losing him, but not like  _ that _ .”

“Don’t worry. He’ll be fine,” Jonas assured him.

Jonas was suddenly more worried than ever before as he made his way to Hanna’s car and started it up. Matteo had been gone for a long ass time. If something had happened to him, Jonas had no idea what the hell he would do.

* * *

There was a small park, just about midway between Matteo’s home and Jonas’ childhood apartment. In that park, right on the edge where few people ventured to, other when their dogs ran away, was a tree. It was a very climbable tree, but nobody knew about it except Jonas and Matteo so, naturally, it became  _ their _ tree, with their names both messily carved into its trunk.

But, if Jonas were to be honest with himself, it was more that it was Matteo’s tree that he chose to share with him.

Matteo’s family was weird, and they caused him more pain than love most of the time and sometimes he just needed to escape. When he did escape, he went to the park and sat in that tree, right on the third branch from the top. If things got really bad, he called Jonas to sit there with him.

Sometimes they talked about it, but, more often than not, they sat up in the tree in silence, listening to the whistling of the wind in the leaves until the sun went down.

There was no free street parking next to the park, so Jonas parked in Matteo’s driveway. He was pretty sure that his family still lived there and he knew that they were still at the wedding.

For the remaining five blocks to the park, Jonas ran as fast as he could. The sweltering heat and his suit weren’t the best combination, but Jonas didn’t really give a fuck that the sweat was plastering his hair to his forehead. He only cared about one thing: Matteo Florenzi.

He made a beeline for the tree and, sure enough, Matteo was sitting there, looking up at the clouds.

“Penny for your thoughts, Luigi?” Jonas said from the ground.

Matteo’s blue eyes flickered down at him for a moment. “I should find a new hiding place next time.”

“I’d still find you,” Jonas shrugged before beginning his ascent up the tree, eventually sitting on the same branch as Matteo.

He swiveled his hips so they were facing each other. “This better not fucking break. We weren’t this big last time we were up here.”

“It’s the strongest branch,” Matteo reasoned, looking off to his left. He wasn’t even able to look Jonas in the eyes. “Besides, we can’t be that much bigger than when we were 18>’

“Fair,” Jonas nodded.

They sat in silence for a few moments until it was eventually broken by Matteo. “Do you have something to ask me?”

Jonas shook his head. “Nah. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

“Good,” Matteo replied, crossing his arms.

“Actually, I do have one question that I hope you can answer,” Jonas said with a wince

“Yes?”

“Does your family still own the same house as when we were kids?”

“Yeah, why?” Matteo asked, giving him a weird look.

“I parked Hanna’s car there,” Jonas informed him.

Matteo’s eyes widened. “Did you run here from my childhood home.”

Jonas shrugged. “Anything for you, bro.”

“You can’t call me bro anymore,” Matteo told him. “Not after we’ve kissed.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Jonas said.

“Are you?”

“Not really,” he admitted. “I mean, I couldn’t let you get married without letting you know how I felt about you. Sure, it makes me kind of a selfish dick, but I don’t regret doing it.”

Matteo cocked a half smile. “It wasn’t exactly a bad kiss. And, well, I guess I still don’t know how I feel about it. Like, I wanted to marry Riccardo, but I also didn’t think I could ever have you.”

“If I asked you to stay in Berlin when you moved to Italy, would you have stayed?” Jonas inquired.

“In a heartbeat,” Matteo answered. “Jonas, up until the past year or so, I would have done anything that you asked of me, which probably wasn’t very healthy.”

“Maybe you leaving was a good thing then. You became your own person.”

Matteo shook his head. “I’m not sure that’s true. I had nothing in Florence other than Riccardo. That might not be healthy either.”

“But now you’re here, stuck between the two guys that love you most,” Jonas said. “I understand why it hurt so much when I kissed you. Before that, there was no choice. You were going to put your feelings for me to rest and now-”

“They’re thriving,” Matteo finished with a sigh.

“I just want you to be happy,” Jonas told him, placing his hand on top of the other boy’s, “If Riccardo is the guy that’s going to do that for you, then so be it.”

“Florence won’t make me happy,” Matteo sighed. “And Riccardo deserves a man that can love him fully and I’m not sure that I’m that man.”

Jonas bit his lip. “And what about me?”

Matteo sighed. “I love you, Jonas. I have always loved you. And you always broke me. You broke me when you were with Hanna, you broke me when you were with me, you broke me when you hooked up with a guy and it wasn’t me and, finally, you broke me with that kiss.”

“I won’t hurt you again,” Jonas said. Tears were beginning to form with every blink. He never meant to hurt Matteo, but he had been inadvertently doing it year after year.

Matteo shook his head. “You can’t make that promise, Jonas. You have no idea what’s going to happen.”

“But I can try,” Jonas reasoned. “ _ We _ can try.”

Matteo sighed. “Yeah, we can try. But not now. I need time, Jonas. I hope you can understand that.

Jonas smiled softly. “I understand, Matteo. You can take all the time you need.”

The other boy sat up straight. “Well, I guess I have to call Riccardo now,” he laughed, his eyes still a bit teary.

He set a hand upon his knee. “Yeah, but I’m here and I’ve got you, as a best friend.”

Maybe Jonas didn’t have Matteo in that way. At least not yet. But he had him as a friend and that’s what mattered and maybe, one day, they could actually be together.


End file.
